A competition… and a confession!

by admin on January 17, 2012

To celebrate the release of GETTING OVER GARRETT DELANEY next week, I’m running a competition. But not just any competition, a GETTING OVER prize giveaway! To win a signed copy of the book—plus some extra surprise goodies!—you just have to leave a comment telling me the best way you get over someone.

Maybe it’s blasting angry girl music, maybe it’s going out with your friends; hey, maybe you like to set up targets in the backyard with their face on and hurl rocks while screaming ‘I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!’. I don’t judge! Either way, just leave a comment and next week, I’ll pick one at random to win.

(I’ll also be offering a second prize pack on twitter, awarded at random to anyone who tweets @ me with their answer and the hashtag #GettingOver, so you can double your chances by commenting here and on twitter!)

**

And now for the confession part of the post. Where the idea for the book began. You know that disclaimer at the front? All characters and events are fictional, and not based on any real life people and or/things? No sir, not even a little, not at all?

Yeah, that’s not exactly true. Usually, when you ask an author, they’ll confess it’s actually all based on something – if not the whole thing, then moments. Fragments. A girl from school, way back when. A terrible blind date. That weekend in Connecticut with a guy and his truck and a lake full of water-lilies… But that’s another story. And, in the case of GETTING OVER GARRETT DELANEY, the book is based on a boy, and a crush.

Not just any boy. THE boy. You know the one. Your best friend, your confidente, your big first crush, your—

As much as I dislike the girl-hating in the video, 'You Belong With Me' kind of nails the crushing!

OK, I may as well stop with the ‘yours’, because as you’ve guessed by now, it’s mine. My big unrequited teen crush that inspired the book, and more than a little of Garrett himself. I’m not going to name names (because God, that boy doesn’t need to think he’s any more special than he already did, and I’d say having an entire book based on you might make you feel a little bit special), but the facts were simple. Like Sadie in the book, I was young, he was older: off being all effortlessly cool and interesting and way more insightful than any of the spitball-throwing idiots I had to spend my days with (lest you think I was like, 12, I’m afraid to say the boys in my school threw spitballs long past then. I was 16 and still picking them out of my hair during science class. Sigh).

And, of course, like Sadie, my wistful crush was unrequited. Or maybe it wasn’t – there was a point where I thought maybe something could have happened, or would have… Except he went and got a girlfriend, and that was that: I was doomed to be the ‘best friend’ forevermore, listening to his plans (with her), his hopes and dreams (about her), and the intimate – and boy, do I mean intimate—details of their young love. I suffered silently for ooh, well over a year, until the whole thing fell apart and I finally woke up to the fact he may not have been worth my adoration in the first place.

Why? you may ask. Why did I put myself through that kind of torment, without establishing any kind of healthy emotional boundaries? Well, you know, I was 16. And, again, I adored the boy. Besides, it’s what we do when we’re deep in a crush, isn’t it? We agonize over every detail, play out scenarios, and torment ourselves when they remain utterly oblivious to our plight… Crushes become obsessions, fed by wishful thinking and sheer longing rather than actual, real-world relationship cues. We cling to them, hoping desperately than the strength of our own fantasies will somehow make our crush realize that the perfect girl was in front of them all along.

For me, I always imagined his epiphany looking something like this. Because I also had time-travelling powers of clare-voyant.

But they don’t. Because that’s the bitch about unrequited crushes: they rarely turn into anything real at all. And most of the time, the object of our affection is just a muddled teenager who secretly kinda likes being adored, and isn’t about to do anything to mess that up. So, like Sadie, we have to figure out what happens next. How the hell do we get over someone who we’ve adored so completely? Where can you even start, when they’re still technically your closest friend? And what do you do, when every time you glance at your phone/check email/leave the house/go to a party, all you want to see/hear/read is HIM?

You’ll have to read the book to find out how Sadie does it, but leave a comment and let us know how you get over your crushes! I tell you, I wish I had Sadie’s 12-step program, and her awesome friends at Totally Wired back then when I was getting over my guy. But I guess using him in a novel ten years later is pretty cathartic too….

{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

Leigh Bardugo January 17, 2012 at 6:48 am

Ugh. Did we all have a Garrett Delaney?

I have no idea how to get over a crush. I was smitten with the same boy in high school for three years! I had to hear about every single on of his adorable girlfriends. And then, years later, when we finally kissed, I was too tipsy to remember it.

My best advice? Take up a hobby and make out with someone cuter.

Hannah January 17, 2012 at 7:01 am

The only way I know how to do it is the old fashioned way – a tub full of ice cream. Get a huge bucketful of ice cream, some friends, and some spoons, and let the tears and hugging commence.

Sarah @ The Book Life January 17, 2012 at 7:35 am

Boy, did I love ‘Getting Over Garrett Delaney’! It reminded me so much of my high school experience and my unrequited crush. Mine treated me like his girlfriend sometimes, taking me on dates and plenty of cuddle time during movie nights, but would never actually commit to anything real. After over a year of being helplessly in love with him and not getting it back in return, I had to quit him cold turkey. I managed to get over him by ignoring and avoiding him. Fortunately, I had friends to help keep me distracted! It was also pretty darn cathartic to look at his facebook 10 years later and realize how unappealing his life is to me now :0)

Thanks for the giveaway!!

Caitlin E January 17, 2012 at 8:00 am

My first HUGE crush was in 8th grade. His name was Paul. We played on the same basketball team and went to the same school. I was the only girl on the team and for some reason chose him as the object of my affections. After months of pining I finally mustered the guts to tell him…through my best friend of course. His response, “Weird, that’s just weird.” Needless to say I was devastated. I thought he felt the same way! Where did I go wrong!? My answer to get over him? I blasted a song the only loyal, true men in my life sang, *Nsync’s “Gone” off their celebrity album. Pair this with incessant and irreverent diary entries and you have a sure fire mix to banish crushed crushes everywhere!

JR January 17, 2012 at 8:40 am

I am an artist, so I tend to draw whoever I am crushing on. It’s somehow releasing to deface one of those drawings-mustaches, rip it, pour paint on it, add a dress, big eyebrows, unicorn tattoos ….. The list goes on.

Tiffany H January 17, 2012 at 11:49 am

My unrequited crush was my best guy friend too. He was funny and smart and had a way of making you feel special even when he wasn’t treating you that well. I finally got over him when he told us all that he was gay. It was painfully obvious to everyone but me and my best girl friend. Looking back on that time is hard because he really treated me terribly and turned my best girl friend against me. That’s life I guess.

Amy P. January 17, 2012 at 2:25 pm

The hardest part is giving up the “what if” scenario. I’ve had a few severe crushes, and I either got over them with time or by just telling myself that I’m better off without them. Actually, that isn’t true. I got over them by replaying every agonizing, embarrassing thing I said or did in front of them. The compounded humiliation usually did the trick.

Gretchen McNeil January 17, 2012 at 5:15 pm

This is one of those “Do as I say, not as a do” scenarios, people.

I was head-over-heels in love with this guy in high school. But I had total blinders on, because he was a complete douchebag. We’d hooked up once or twice, and I thought, “Oh, we’re DATING!” Yeah, only in my mind. Because I walked in on him mid-BJ with this girl at the cast part for a musical we were all in.

Me = devastated.

For about a week. Then I found out he was actually calling BJ Girl his “girlfriend.” Then I got pissed off.

And slept with his best friend.

It worked. I got over him. Still, I don’t condone “revenge sex” as a means of getting over a boy.

I’m not sure I’m selling that stance very well…

Danielle January 17, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Would you believe I actually posted on a message board about this? I am totally just going to copy and paste from that.

1- Stop talking to the person. Don’t call to negotiate who gets to go to show X. Stay away from the person as much as you can.
2- Fill up your social and work calendar. Kick ass, take names.
3- Give yourself a limited period of time to read old emails, daydream about reconciling, etc. After that time, file away the emails, delete the texts; when you find yourself daydreaming, do that “pfft!” Dr. Evil thing with your head.
4- Come up with a reasonable-sounding explanation for why things didn’t work. Try to understand it. Repeat these reasons to yourself ad nauseam. Have your friends repeat this to you ad nauseam. Eventually your heart will listen to your head, I promise.
5- Uh, rinse and repeat.

Step 1 is always putting them into the z section of your phone: put “z” in front of the person’s name so it immediately goes to the end of the alphabet.

LA January 17, 2012 at 7:42 pm

I got a piñata that bore a striking resemblance to him, gave it his name and beat the hell out of it with my girlfriends. While we drank margs, and played Ani, obviously.

meaghan January 19, 2012 at 8:03 pm

time and lots of alanis morriessette. it helped that the crush was in my senior year of high school and i got to go away to school and meet new people. :)

Azra January 23, 2012 at 11:35 am

Oh gosh, what are us girls like… so easy to get warped into some fanatic crush!! Tbh i have no advice on the topic as I am rubbish at it, but from what my friends have told me… “picture him on the toilet doing a number 2!” !!! @azrad89

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